caveman and bananas

22 Mar

this past week, i did the Paleo diet in preparation for another one of my 10-mile runs. it’s supposed to improve athletic performance and enhance overall health. paleo is basically eating only what the cavemen supposedly ate (from the paleolithic era)…think: lean meats, fruit, veggies, nuts, and seeds. that’s. it. no processed junk? ideal. no dairy (cheese, milk, sour cream, etc.), no beans, no pasta, potatoes or rice? B-O-R-I-N-G. i did great, had lot’s of energy and definitely saw a time and energy improvement on my ten-miler. the week was good, but i do not envy cavemen. i have now resumed my normal healthy eating regime….one that includes whole grains 🙂 carb-lover party of one? here!

so, i survived, but the worst part? it meant that i had to pass up one of my favorite things ever. ever. ever. cake….BANANA cake. not just any old banana cake, but my own recipe for a banana nut cream cake with a salted caramel drizzle covered with vanilla buttercream frosting. i’ll wait here a minute while you go grab a towel to wipe up the puddle of drool on your keyboard.

Heaven. real talk.

the only banana i had all week was in breakfast, and even that wasn’t that good. i like to eat the same breakfast pretty much every single day. i guess you could say i’m a creature of habit. whole wheat something (love me some cardboard)..like toast, english muffin, frozen waffle, etc…with all-natural almond or peanut butter, sliced banana and a sprinkle of cinnamon, all washed down by a pot of coffee. i only wish that was an exaggeration.

because i was busy wearing loin cloths, growing excessive amounts of hair, drawing pictures on my cave wall and carrying a club for my new cavemen lifestyle, i only had the banana with almond butter on top because everything else wasn’t on the plan. the coffee? welllll, wasn’t exactly supposed to have that, but mama not pretty to be around without coffee in the morning if you’re pickin’ up what i’m puttin’ down, so i made that one and only exception.

i wasn’t going to torture myself and make any delicious baked treats all week, but my friend Megan begged me to make it for our Thursday night girls bible study. i couldn’t say no to a megan. so, i obliged.

smooth, dreamy creamy vanilla buttercream frosting. mmmm

whipping up the ingredients was a swift reminder of why cavemen had it rough. it came out beautifully and i had to tie my hands behind my back to keep from bomb diving, face first into the cake.

i sat through bible study as the girls oohed and ahhed and smacked down the moist and perfect combination of sweet and salty goodness. i even survived when we had a bbq the next night with a bunch of friends and people ate it. come to think of it, people at the bbq might have been wondering why i was sitting so close to them as they plowed through the cake. it wasn’t because we’re friends, you were wearing nice perfume or i had trouble hearing…i just was trying to get a whiff of the banana-butter-sugar-caramel bliss that i was craving. all the while hoping that there would be just one baby piece leftover after my run the next day. please, people.

after my run with my internet friend (explanatory post on how awkward that is coming soon–hold judgment until then), i started to eat normally again. unfortunately, bee had eaten the most coveted slice in cakedom…the last slice. there were, however, still some crumbs and a couple little globs of frosting stuck on the serving knife in the glass cake dome. uninhibited and severely lacking class, i scrounged up the remaining little gems of sugary love and oh-my-wow. if somebody says they saw me licking the plate…and serving knife…and any surface with a trace of frosting…don’t believe them. ok, ok, believe them, but just don’t judge me.

i was going to give you the recipe because i’m generous, but then i decided that wouldn’t be the wisest thing. i even had a threat this week of someone breaking into my house to steal the recipe. “i WILL find your recipe book and take it.” creeeeepy. if i gave it away, all you people who are my friends only for my baked goods would end our friendship. i like you too much to let you go. with that said, the recipe is protected under lock and key.

disclaimer: i am open to bribes.

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