the best chocolate chip cookies in the whole entire world!

13 Mar

let’s get one thing straight. i love sugar. oh, wait…you already knew that? ok, now that we got the whole “first step is to admit” thing done, let’s continue.

i love chocolate chip cookies, but i only love good chocolate chip cookies. in my opinion, there are some foods that are good regardless if they’re not that good. you know exactly what i’m talking about. pizza, for instance, is good no matter what. hot, cold, homemade, from a box or from the local pizza joint. even if the cheese is lousy and the sauce is sub-par, it’s still pizza, and thus, still good. you tracking with me? ok, great. chocolate chip cookies do NOT fall into this category.

they can be too cakey, too crunchy, too blah, too sweet, too you-name-it. i won’t eat a bad chocolate cookie because it simply isn’t worth it to me.

continuing on the admittance theme, i will admit that i suck at baking cookies. my cookies are always rock-hard alien discs that resemble hockey pucks more than tasty treats. bee makes better chocolate chip cookies than i do (yes, i am woman enough to admit that), so i never make them.

when i’m looking for new recipes online i often google “the best (insert whatever dish) ever”..the best cinnamon rolls ever! the best frosting ever! the best banana bread ever! well, you know what? EVERYONE and their mom and their mom’s great grandpa’s sister’s brother thinks they have the best recipe. well, sorry to break it to you, but Sheila from Idaho, your friends and family must lack taste buds because your banana bread sucks. sorry sweetcheeks.

when it comes to chocolate chip cookies, so many people claim to make the best. well, it depends on what you define to be the “best” in a cookie. personally, my knees goes weak for a crispy texture, but still chewy, with the right proportion of chocolate chips and a nice salty, buttery flavor profile. yeah, i mean business. naturally, i was hesitant when i came across this recipe. some chick named Alice claiming that this was hands-down, the best recipe you’ll ever come across. and because i hadn’t had a good cookie in awhile and bee was hankering for a spoonful of the brown sugar and butter mixture (don’t judge him…he likes to eat the mixture of brown sugar and butter that you cream together first when making cookies. he’s got a sweet tooth (teeth) and i love him. back off)…so i decided i would give Alice’s recipe the good ol’ college try.

it seemed complicated. weigh the flour? cream the butter and sugar for 3 minutes exactly on speed 5? preheat the oven to 360 degrees? really Alice? you seem demanding and hard to please. i feel bad for your husband. joking. kinda. i had mixed thoughts of how they would turn out. especially because it called for 2 3/4 cup flour and i only had 2 1/4 cup flour and the rest i had to use whole wheat. now, i use whole wheat flour for most everything. i only eat whole wheat bread, pasta, brown rice, blah blah healthy blah. contrary to most of my posts on this blog, i eat very well most of the time. i even put spinach in my smoothies. i make popeye and my mama proud! but i never use whole wheat flour in my baking because ew. if i’m having sweets, i’m going full tilt boogie. yeehaw.

13 minutes later (there you go again, Alice, being your meticulous little freak self)….i opened the oven door and angels flew out. serious. one bite and i was swooning. i screamed, B! you have to come try this…you’re gunna flip out! these are God’s gift to man! they’re salty..they’re sweet…they’re everything i’ve ever wanted in a cookie and more. i am not a failure! i CAN make good..no! AMAZING cookies! he was laughing. tried one, grinned ear-to-ear and asked for more. we were in heaven. i had two. stopped at two because i’m trying to work on self-control (read: i have none). but, trust and believe i picked the biggest two of the bunch.

the things have flakes of sea salt in them. and semi-sweet chocolate chips. and milk chocolate chips. and real vanilla. and enough butter to scare Paula Deen. fo’ real. oh my sweet, sweet mercy, they are divine. danggit, Alice, you are one smart cookie (pun intended)! tollhouse, what? mrs. field, who? these are without a doubt, the BEST chocolate chip cookies i have ever had in my entire life. (disclaimer: i understand the weight of that statement and stand behind it with full confidence).

i spent the entire day thinking about them and i’m ok with that. i’m pretty sure i answered “cookie” to every question i was asked today only to be met with blank stares and bewilderment. i’m also ok with the fact that i just ate another two (fine, two and half!) and i’m considering going downstairs for another. kidding. dead serious. i think the crack fairy came by and sprinkled crack in the batter. too soon on the blog to make those kind of jokes? oopsie daisy!

i’m working with a friend who has agreed to take pics of my food for the blog. hooray! thank God because the following picture hurts my eyes. sorry people! (people? who am i kidding? i mean MOM!) my hope is to even have a step-by-step process with pictures of my recipes soon so you can make them too and not just drool all over your keyboard.

in the meantime, drool on this baby:

Picture from the actual recipe page because my camera sucks. Mine looked better, though…neener neener!

 

ps this is not a genius marketing ploy from the people of got milk?
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